A day ago, my oldest went away to college. I am very proud and honored to be the father of two great children. I loved the book Shit My Dad Says by Justin Halpern.
I am not that guy.
I speak far less, and the most in depth conversations are not philosophical and more about the merits of my giving permission for a certain activity. My wife is the more philosophical and addresses the life questions. She is the patient one for the topics of love, sex, anger, disappointment, hurt, etc. Yes/no is my forte, she is the one who can speculate. Given a why question I don't know the answer for, I will reply, "I don't know." End of conversation.
I know of mothers and fathers who contact their children regularly throughout college and after they move away to stay in touch. That is not me, either. If I started, I think both my children would wonder what the hell is wrong with you, and my wife would think I was having mid-life issues.
So, I put this up to write the shit I couldn't say and thought it worthy of writing about.
Why do I not try to stay in touch with family and friends? I love and care for them. I don't worry about their condition. If you ask me how I think anyone is doing, I believe she/he is fine and happy. It is not that I don't care. I believe if you aren't asking for help, you are doing well. Flawed approach? No doubt. Whenever someone chooses to suffer silently, I am absolutely unhelpful.
Call me the silent optimist.
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